How to Win a Bar Fight
The definitive list.
The definitive list.
If you don't have one of these, you have already lost (women are exempt from this requirement). If you go and attempt to start a bar fight, you may die. If the other guy has a beard, his beard may be able to kill you just by making eye contact, depending on said beard's level of epicness. So grow one! If only for your own safety!
Step one.
Add this.
Step 3.
Some of this.
Step 4.
And this.
You'd never make it without this.
I feel that this is needed also.
What the crap is my old bank doing on this list?!
Step 5.
Step 6.
Oh yeah, baby!
Step 7.
Obviously. This should have been step 1, or maybe even .5.
All bets are off when this wild cat is in the house!
Step 8.
Step 1. That's right. Step 1. Mace doesn't take crap, so he is also step 1.
Throw it at them! Throw it!
If a Wookiee will pull your arms out of their sockets, a Yeti would pull them so hard, and so fast, that your chest might collapse into a miniature black hole!
That'll help.
Steps 21-26. He's just that good.
Step 37. Wait...37?! What happened to all of those other steps?!
...
...Oh, I remember now. This guy is Steps 27-36. What a behemoth.
Damn right! Larry will jack you up!
I will never attempt a bar brawl without this beast at my side again.
ESPECIALLY if the bar is located in any kind of graveyard or necropolis.
Always comes in handy.
What? That damn car salesman is on my list too?! WHAT??!!!
...Moving on...
You don't have to agree with him. Just bring him to any bar you plan to fight in.
A regular drunken brawler, who also happens to eat people.
ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL!
Step 38.
Just one will do.
Duh...
Did somebody order an arse-kicking?!
Step 39.
Steps 40-60. Yes, he's that good.
Just for kicks.
Step 61.
What would this all be without the unstoppable, hulking dominance of Lara Croft's creepy, yet endearing, elderly butler?
Step 62.
This guy is always up for a good fight.
It's on now!
Her bar fight prowess just might surprise you.
Not sure who that is...
Step 63.
Step 64.
When he's not threatening the free world with annihilation, he's pounding beers and pounding on fellow bar patrons.